100+ funny hilarious facebook status

100+ funny hilarious facebook status: Looking for hilarious facebook status, We are providing Large Collection of the hilarious facebook status. I hope you liked this collection. Choose your favourite funny facebook status and share.

hilarious facebook status

Hilarious Quotes as Facebook Status

  • Don’t waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
  • New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
  • People say that things happen for a reason. So remember when I hit you upside the head it was for a reason.
  • One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, “Help! Shark! Help!” I just laughed ’cause I knew that shark was not going to help him.
  • 4 out of 5 urologists smell their apple juice before they drink it.
  • Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
  • I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
  • Facebook is like a prison. You sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
  • If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
  • Good girls go to heaven, bad girls just make you feel like you’re in heaven!
  • A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
  • … is listed as in a relationship with iPad, iPhone, Apple TV, MacBook Air… are there any other Apple products left out there?
  • You can come on Facebook & write on people’s walls here & they are fine with it … but no, if you go to their house & start writing on their walls there they totally get mad & call the cops on you! Um, can someone PLEASE come to bail me out of jail?
  • … wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
  • How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin turtle??
  • Behind every successful man… there is a confused woman.
  • Dear math: I am not a therapist, so solve your own problems.
  • You, my friend, deserve a high-five… that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
  • By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
  • The kids down the street have challenged me to a water fight. I’m just updating my status whilst I wait for the kettle to boil.

funny hilarious facebook status

Popular hilarious facebook status

  • Facebook STORY: Add as friend → Approve → Write something on wall → Intro → Everyday chatting → Ask phone number → Texting → Calling → Meeting → Express love → Change relationship status → Hangout → Misunderstanding → Fights → Break up → Unfriend → Block 🙁 THE END
  • Dear Mom, I’m wearing skinny jeans. If I can’t get them off, neither can the rapist. Love, your daughter.
  • I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
  • I would rather check my Facebook than face my chequebook.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status!
  • Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
  • 2 earphones in ears = don’t talk to me. 1 earphone in ear = don’t talk to me. No earphones in ears = don’t talk to me.
  • Log onto Facebook and write on people’s walls and they are fine with it. But if you go to their house and start writing on their walls, they totally get mad and call the cops on you! Umm, can someone please come to bail me out?
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